St. Purim’s Day

By: Sara Miller

With all the attention given a few months ago to the monumental, monstrous big deal that was Thanksgivukkah, I wanted to play a fun little irreverent (but not irrelevant) game called “COMBINE ALL THE HOLIDAYS!”

You might ask why I would do such a thing. What a good question! Three words: St. Purim’s Day. And that’s not even a stretch! This year, in 2014, Purim and St. Patrick’s Day are the same weekend! Just imagine the possibilities: a costume contest where everyone’s “coincidentally” a leprechaun.  Green beer flowing freely at a seudah. The Jewish-Irish among us would have a field day! (Of four-leaf clovers, obviously.) I’m reminded of the Star and Shamrock, a pub I went to one time. It’s just as great as it looks. I think I had “Latke Madness” with corned beef and Manischewitz sangria. Next year in Washington, DC!

These two celebrations combined have to be more than just coincidences– there must be a reason! And whenever we want to find meaning in something Jewish, the obvious next step would be to seek mystical guidance from the holy language of Hebrew and its secret numerology. That’s right… we’re going to do some gematria!

Thanks to the gematria calculator I conveniently found online, I was able to figure out that if you add the Hebrew words for “Americans” and “Jews,” then subtract “synergy” and “calendar,” you end up with 8, which is associated with the letter Chet (ח).  (Of course, that’s if I remember the order of operations properly.) Chet is clearly the best letter. All the best words begin with it, and that’s not just because I’m trying to make this math work! The Hebrew words for “life,” “smile,” “vacation,” and “kindness” begin with ח. So, basically, it’s only appropriate that these collaborations occur in nature.

So that got me thinking: what are some other holidays that could be combined to form a more perfect union? I got creative and came up with some slogans for other holiday coincidences. Some runners-up were better than others. Read them if you dare.

Tu B’Shvat and Valentines Day:
Don’t just hug a tree, fall in love with it!

Passover and April Fools’ Day:
Here, have a cracker. JUST KIDDING, it’s cardboard!

Rosh Hashana and Labor Day:
You’d better not be at work right now! Like, really.

Shavuot and Independence Day:
Free from Britain! Free from Egypt! Freedom! (Not free from laws and fatty foods.)

I invite you to create your own and post them below!

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